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00:00:06,480 --> 00:00:10,439
There was an old wise man who I met in
prison. Well, he couldn't be that wise

2
00:00:10,440 --> 00:00:13,799
because he was in prison. But he warned
me that the hardest thing about being

3
00:00:13,800 --> 00:00:16,030
locked up isn't the thought of where you
are.

4
00:00:16,031 --> 00:00:17,919
It's the thought of where you're not.

5
00:00:17,920 --> 00:00:21,999
It's knowing that life outside is
continuing on without you. And that the

6
00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:24,950
of your dreams is now the girl of some
other prick's dreams.

7
00:00:25,380 --> 00:00:29,460
Glendar is getting married to Gavin
fucking Madigan.

8
00:00:29,800 --> 00:00:34,239
But after a lot of soul searching, I
decided that I was going to be the

9
00:00:34,240 --> 00:00:35,760
man. For better or worse.

10
00:00:36,090 --> 00:00:40,229
She was going to stay completely loyal
and faithful to him for the rest of

11
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entire life.

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00:00:47,190 --> 00:00:48,240
She's right.

13
00:00:48,470 --> 00:00:52,849
Looking good, kid. I hope her lashes
rain on the way to the wedding and that

14
00:00:52,850 --> 00:00:53,990
whole place is flooded.

15
00:00:54,250 --> 00:00:57,949
Oh yeah, well you see what you're
saying. Then Gavin's driving along and

16
00:00:57,950 --> 00:01:02,309
tyre hits a puddle and he accoplades and
he crashes and he's paralyzed from the

17
00:01:02,310 --> 00:01:05,680
neck down for the rest of his life and
he's to talk using one of those

18
00:01:05,870 --> 00:01:09,310
Oh, I'm Gavin Monaghan and it's nice to
meet you.

19
00:01:09,950 --> 00:01:11,000
Jesus, boy.

20
00:01:11,270 --> 00:01:12,890
It's a little bit dark, no?

21
00:01:12,891 --> 00:01:15,909
Oh, sorry. I thought that was the
direction we were going.

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00:01:15,910 --> 00:01:18,620
I hope he doesn't die, like, just gets
bruised up a bit.

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00:01:18,950 --> 00:01:21,120
Nick, throw the suit, son. Yeah, yeah,
yeah.

24
00:01:24,950 --> 00:01:28,410
Anyway. Oh, look at you. Don't you look
lovely?

25
00:01:29,030 --> 00:01:30,080
Oh, I need a hug.

26
00:01:31,770 --> 00:01:33,990
What's this? I kind of forgot to say.

27
00:01:34,350 --> 00:01:37,710
They must have forgotten to take the tag
off in the shop.

28
00:01:37,930 --> 00:01:41,300
We bought it, eh? You're on probation.
Do you want to go back to jail?

29
00:01:41,490 --> 00:01:42,540
No.

30
00:01:43,890 --> 00:01:44,940
What do we do?

31
00:01:45,110 --> 00:01:46,670
Go on, get the good to do quickly.

32
00:01:50,151 --> 00:01:55,499
Do you think it's a good idea you go
into this wedding today?

33
00:01:55,500 --> 00:02:00,799
Linda invited me, like, so... Look, Con,
I know it's hard to hear, but... You

34
00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:01,940
will find your someone.

35
00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:06,020
What if I've already found my someone,
but I'm not her someone?

36
00:02:09,660 --> 00:02:12,339
What's this, stolen goods?

37
00:02:12,340 --> 00:02:15,650
Jesus Christ, Tony, can you not be a
guard for one day in your life?

38
00:02:15,870 --> 00:02:19,430
Mam and Healy were in that phase of
their relationship all couples go

39
00:02:19,431 --> 00:02:22,709
Oh, I'll just go and see to Noel, so
will I? The hating each other phase.

40
00:02:22,710 --> 00:02:23,369
Do you know what?

41
00:02:23,370 --> 00:02:26,169
That would be lovely. Because he
probably wouldn't even recognise you at

42
00:02:26,170 --> 00:02:30,089
moment. Healy was working a lot of
triple overtime to pay for nappies and

43
00:02:30,090 --> 00:02:33,709
cream. All right, I'll just turn a blind
eye to whatever it is I'm supposed to

44
00:02:33,710 --> 00:02:36,180
be turning a blind eye to, so will I?
Jesus Christ.

45
00:02:36,430 --> 00:02:38,770
But deep down, love was still in the
air.

46
00:02:39,330 --> 00:02:40,380
Wanker.

47
00:02:41,770 --> 00:02:42,820
Try that.

48
00:02:46,510 --> 00:02:47,830
Right. Time to leave the bag.

49
00:02:47,950 --> 00:02:49,000
No, no, no.

50
00:02:49,410 --> 00:02:53,610
Claire, it's not... What? What? Nothing.

51
00:03:02,190 --> 00:03:03,390
Did you notice about it?

52
00:03:03,391 --> 00:03:06,989
Eh, you'd have to be really looking for
it. Yeah, they're after leaving the

53
00:03:06,990 --> 00:03:09,950
security tag on the blazer. Oh, God.

54
00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:12,670
Sick, they ought to do the same to mine,
Jack.

55
00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:15,040
Hand it over, Jack.

56
00:03:16,620 --> 00:03:22,159
I've got to head over to Siobhan's
there. I want to see Sarah in the flower

57
00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:24,740
costume. It's a funny unsupervised
access, Dad.

58
00:03:24,980 --> 00:03:29,960
I know, but something tells me Siobhan
won't be ringing her solicitor today.

59
00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:32,740
You know what they say about weddings.

60
00:03:32,980 --> 00:03:35,740
No. Or they make women horny, like.

61
00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:39,000
She wasn't doing nothing for me.

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00:03:39,150 --> 00:03:41,170
Oh, fierce horny, Mireille. Yeah.

63
00:03:41,171 --> 00:03:45,109
If I'm going to get back with Siobhan,
this is my big chance, like. So wish me

64
00:03:45,110 --> 00:03:47,209
luck, yeah? All right, Jack. Go on. Good
luck.

65
00:03:47,210 --> 00:03:48,260
Thanks.

66
00:03:48,610 --> 00:03:50,030
So Randy there.

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00:03:59,970 --> 00:04:01,170
Morning, girl.

68
00:04:14,750 --> 00:04:15,800
Morning. Shit!

69
00:04:16,790 --> 00:04:18,310
You need to go now.

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00:04:18,790 --> 00:04:21,870
I have them. Thank you.

71
00:04:22,170 --> 00:04:23,220
I'm just there.

72
00:04:23,790 --> 00:04:26,830
You can't go down there. You have to go
to the window.

73
00:04:27,250 --> 00:04:28,450
The window? Yeah.

74
00:04:29,410 --> 00:04:30,470
Are you having a nap?

75
00:04:30,471 --> 00:04:32,849
I didn't know what's wrong with the
floor.

76
00:04:32,850 --> 00:04:33,900
Okay,

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00:04:34,010 --> 00:04:35,060
I'm going.

78
00:04:37,970 --> 00:04:39,020
I'm forwarding.

79
00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:48,350
Handsome Dan the painter, man? Yeah,
boy, I'm telling you.

80
00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:52,440
Sure. What do you mean, boy? I know his
arse as well as I know my own face.

81
00:04:52,441 --> 00:04:56,299
Handsome once posed for an ad for
hemorrhoid cream.

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00:04:56,300 --> 00:04:59,879
The billboard company went bust, which
meant the poster stayed up for three

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00:04:59,880 --> 00:05:02,950
years and became one of Cork's biggest
tourist attractions.

84
00:05:03,900 --> 00:05:04,980
Fair play to our life.

85
00:05:05,300 --> 00:05:08,440
What are you on about, Cain? His name is
Handsome Dan, Jack.

86
00:05:08,900 --> 00:05:11,850
He's gorgeous. Oi, you're not getting
what I'm telling you.

87
00:05:11,851 --> 00:05:15,789
If she's shagging Handsome Dan the night
before her wedding, it means she

88
00:05:15,790 --> 00:05:19,040
obviously doesn't want to marry Gavin
Madigan. It's a proxy ride.

89
00:05:19,350 --> 00:05:22,750
A proxy ride? A proxy ride, OK?

90
00:05:22,970 --> 00:05:27,169
Yeah, sure, she might have gotten up on
Dan, but she was thinking about you by

91
00:05:27,170 --> 00:05:28,220
the whole time.

92
00:05:28,310 --> 00:05:32,850
Really? So... She's thinking about me?

93
00:05:33,170 --> 00:05:35,280
Yes, you, boy. She's still in love with
you.

94
00:05:35,910 --> 00:05:39,010
This was going to be my last chance to
win Linda back.

95
00:05:39,250 --> 00:05:42,200
And what's more of a romantic place to
do it than a wedding?

96
00:05:42,201 --> 00:05:43,529
Her wedding.

97
00:05:43,530 --> 00:05:46,420
Half a sausage just for left of your
fork there, aren't I?

98
00:05:46,630 --> 00:05:48,980
Right, this sausage is going to sort me
out now.

99
00:05:49,430 --> 00:05:50,990
I'm going to be sick.

100
00:05:50,991 --> 00:05:51,769
I'm done.

101
00:05:51,770 --> 00:05:52,970
Bar, take it away from me.

102
00:05:54,710 --> 00:05:56,410
Why did you have that?

103
00:05:57,010 --> 00:05:59,060
To tape your Auntie Linda into her
dress.

104
00:05:59,061 --> 00:06:02,429
Don't want her tits spilling over when
she's saying her I do's. OK, girls, 40

105
00:06:02,430 --> 00:06:04,149
minutes and we head to the church, yeah?

106
00:06:04,150 --> 00:06:06,440
But we're not going to the church,
remember?

107
00:06:06,441 --> 00:06:07,389
You know what I mean.

108
00:06:07,390 --> 00:06:10,089
It was a great idea of Gavin's to have
the wedding in the place where you two

109
00:06:10,090 --> 00:06:11,140
first met.

110
00:06:11,141 --> 00:06:14,289
He's too tight to spend his own money,
is what he's saying. Well, I think it's

111
00:06:14,290 --> 00:06:15,340
mad romantic.

112
00:06:15,730 --> 00:06:16,990
Let's try and get him even.

113
00:06:18,250 --> 00:06:20,840
I don't want one for my... The other one
in Charleville.

114
00:06:23,270 --> 00:06:24,320
Yeah.

115
00:06:25,030 --> 00:06:26,080
Thank you.

116
00:06:43,310 --> 00:06:44,930
You're right there, lads, yeah?

117
00:06:45,370 --> 00:06:50,450
Conor has a question for you. Conor has
a question.

118
00:06:51,570 --> 00:06:55,929
Yeah, Conor has a... I just want to ask,
did you have sex with Linda Walsh last

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00:06:55,930 --> 00:06:56,769
night at the inn?

120
00:06:56,770 --> 00:06:57,950
Yeah. Why, no, lad.

121
00:06:58,410 --> 00:07:00,330
Know yourself. A gentleman never tells.

122
00:07:00,331 --> 00:07:04,429
Yeah, but if you did sleep with her, I
just want you to know she was probably

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00:07:04,430 --> 00:07:06,309
thinking of someone else the whole time.

124
00:07:06,310 --> 00:07:07,249
Yeah.

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00:07:07,250 --> 00:07:11,169
Now that you say it, she actually did
keep shouting out some other lad's name

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00:07:11,170 --> 00:07:12,220
the whole night.

127
00:07:12,221 --> 00:07:13,679
Well, you should have heard her.

128
00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:15,480
She was all... Oh!

129
00:07:16,660 --> 00:07:17,760
Oh, Jesus Christ!

130
00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:19,900
Oh, Jesus Christ!

131
00:07:20,580 --> 00:07:21,860
Oh, Jesus Christ!

132
00:07:21,861 --> 00:07:25,419
Look, whatever happened between you and
Linda, all right? She's still in love

133
00:07:25,420 --> 00:07:28,659
with Cain, all right? And now she's
going to marry some other fella. All

134
00:07:28,660 --> 00:07:32,619
cool. Just watch out with me, like. We
want you to come to the wedding and tell

135
00:07:32,620 --> 00:07:34,519
Gavin Madigan that you slept with Linda.

136
00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:35,739
What, and humiliate her?

137
00:07:35,740 --> 00:07:37,979
Yeah. In front of all of her friends and
family?

138
00:07:37,980 --> 00:07:39,120
Yeah, if you don't mind.

139
00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:42,170
Do you wish to be ashamed of yourselves?
Yeah.

140
00:07:42,240 --> 00:07:43,290
The answer is no.

141
00:07:43,420 --> 00:07:44,470
Get lost.

142
00:07:45,780 --> 00:07:48,820
I hate to admit it, but maybe Hanson was
right.

143
00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:51,560
He was more than just a six -pack and a
cute ass.

144
00:07:52,520 --> 00:07:56,130
Can all wedding guests please be seated
in the assembly hall? Thank you.

145
00:07:57,140 --> 00:07:58,760
He's getting married at a school.

146
00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:06,300
Cheapest thing I've ever heard in my
life. It was time to bow out gracefully.

147
00:08:09,420 --> 00:08:11,160
What about a man won in the end, huh?

148
00:08:11,161 --> 00:08:14,119
It's not a competition, Lee. Of course
it was a competition.

149
00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:15,500
And I wiped your eye for you.

150
00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:19,930
A wedding doesn't count if it's in a
school.

151
00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:22,760
I think that's actually true, you know.

152
00:08:22,860 --> 00:08:24,760
Would you look at the state of him.

153
00:08:27,580 --> 00:08:29,480
Would you stop being such a snob?

154
00:08:30,100 --> 00:08:33,780
It's amazing what you can find in a
charity shop if you're not fussy.

155
00:08:34,580 --> 00:08:35,630
One peck.

156
00:08:38,570 --> 00:08:40,630
Or I'll lick your head.

157
00:08:40,850 --> 00:08:41,900
Thank you.

158
00:08:42,850 --> 00:08:45,590
Siobhan would like you to sit next to
her for the math.

159
00:08:46,030 --> 00:08:47,080
Really?

160
00:08:47,910 --> 00:08:50,130
What about... Don't mind what Barry
thinks.

161
00:08:51,090 --> 00:08:55,070
As Linda said, you're Star's daddy,
which makes you family.

162
00:08:55,750 --> 00:08:57,610
Yeah. Ah, thanks.

163
00:08:57,910 --> 00:08:59,050
Come on. All right, Con?

164
00:09:00,110 --> 00:09:01,430
The mile wouldn't kill you.

165
00:09:02,210 --> 00:09:03,990
Why do I have a horny day?

166
00:09:11,020 --> 00:09:13,910
The room where your bit could be Father
Rooney's last man.

167
00:09:14,540 --> 00:09:16,830
Supposed to be going through a crisis of
fate.

168
00:09:17,740 --> 00:09:19,480
Yeah. Everything all right, Linda?

169
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:21,110
Yeah.

170
00:09:21,111 --> 00:09:24,119
You're not thinking of jilting him at
the altar, are you?

171
00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:26,819
It's just, you know, the reception's
after costing me a fortune.

172
00:09:26,820 --> 00:09:28,360
Dad! It was a joke.

173
00:09:31,700 --> 00:09:32,860
He's a good man, Linda.

174
00:09:33,900 --> 00:09:34,950
Solid, you know.

175
00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:39,659
And the best thing about marrying a
teacher, as your mother knows well, you

176
00:09:39,660 --> 00:09:40,619
can't be fucked.

177
00:09:40,620 --> 00:09:42,460
No matter how bad you are at your job.

178
00:09:42,461 --> 00:09:46,459
You know the way you love them spring
rolls from the paddy field above the

179
00:09:46,460 --> 00:09:47,840
Bishopstown? Yeah.

180
00:09:47,841 --> 00:09:51,339
Well, there's nothing wrong with not
wanting those spring rolls every night

181
00:09:51,340 --> 00:09:52,339
the rest of your life.

182
00:09:52,340 --> 00:09:53,299
What?

183
00:09:53,300 --> 00:09:54,500
You'd laugh, don't you?

184
00:09:54,740 --> 00:09:58,940
Last night, you fancied the spring rolls
from Walk This Way in Toker.

185
00:09:59,420 --> 00:10:01,500
And there's no shame in that.

186
00:10:02,140 --> 00:10:03,190
I'm going to be sick.

187
00:10:03,980 --> 00:10:05,030
I'm going to get sick.

188
00:10:10,830 --> 00:10:14,440
Siobhan, the caterer said the money is
non -refundable. Piss off, guys!

189
00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:17,040
I'm good.

190
00:10:17,190 --> 00:10:18,240
I'm good.

191
00:10:19,130 --> 00:10:20,180
I'm fine.

192
00:10:20,181 --> 00:10:21,929
I'm all right.

193
00:10:21,930 --> 00:10:22,980
I'm all right.

194
00:10:23,770 --> 00:10:24,820
Oi.

195
00:10:25,590 --> 00:10:28,180
Try to control yourself when we're
saying the vote.

196
00:10:28,290 --> 00:10:31,660
The last thing we need on video is to
sound you blood in your eyes out.

197
00:10:31,661 --> 00:10:35,729
Billy thinks weddings are like funerals.
You can just turn up, pay your respects

198
00:10:35,730 --> 00:10:37,410
and get free booze and sandwiches.

199
00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:43,180
Me? Why do you let him talk to you like
that?

200
00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:44,650
I'm not letting him.

201
00:10:45,420 --> 00:10:46,760
It's his day, all right?

202
00:10:47,380 --> 00:10:49,240
Like you said, he won. Won?

203
00:10:49,700 --> 00:10:51,200
Is that what this is all about?

204
00:10:51,380 --> 00:10:53,280
Winning? I thought it was about love.

205
00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:55,100
Do you still love her?

206
00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:56,370
Of course I love her.

207
00:10:57,180 --> 00:10:58,300
She doesn't love him.

208
00:11:00,340 --> 00:11:03,410
Why, she slept with Hanson Dan Fogarty
at the home last night.

209
00:11:03,620 --> 00:11:04,670
She didn't what?

210
00:11:05,980 --> 00:11:08,520
Look, as much as I love a good
volleyball...

211
00:11:09,201 --> 00:11:11,169
Cancel this wedding.

212
00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:14,829
And how do you suppose we do that,
Billy? I suppose we could drag Handsome

213
00:11:14,830 --> 00:11:18,200
Diamond here and he can confess in front
of the whole congregation.

214
00:11:18,230 --> 00:11:20,010
I tried that. He said no. I asked.

215
00:11:20,210 --> 00:11:21,410
That's your big mistake.

216
00:11:21,610 --> 00:11:22,750
You asked him.

217
00:11:24,130 --> 00:11:25,470
Are you okay?

218
00:11:26,310 --> 00:11:28,110
No, Billy. I'm really sad.

219
00:11:28,450 --> 00:11:29,500
Okay.

220
00:11:30,750 --> 00:11:32,170
God, he is so intense.

221
00:11:32,770 --> 00:11:34,880
I just don't want to hurt Adam's
feelings.

222
00:11:35,550 --> 00:11:37,610
The worst reason to get married.

223
00:11:37,611 --> 00:11:41,089
Especially when it's... Stopping you
from getting what your heart really

224
00:11:41,090 --> 00:11:42,470
He's a good person, Siobhan.

225
00:11:42,870 --> 00:11:47,049
If he's a good person, he'll understand
that you want to go back to your first

226
00:11:47,050 --> 00:11:48,100
love.

227
00:11:49,510 --> 00:11:50,770
Do you hear what Dad said?

228
00:11:51,090 --> 00:11:52,410
Everything's paid for now.

229
00:11:53,430 --> 00:11:55,910
Dad, you ready to be a flower girl?

230
00:11:56,250 --> 00:11:57,300
Yeah!

231
00:12:12,270 --> 00:12:14,860
in time if you hadn't stopped at every
orange light.

232
00:12:15,210 --> 00:12:18,280
Our time were here before the bride. Oh,
yeah. No, thanks to you.

233
00:12:19,710 --> 00:12:22,540
I can't believe you got overtaken by a
mobility scooter.

234
00:12:22,550 --> 00:12:24,170
Could you maybe stop him crying?

235
00:12:24,171 --> 00:12:27,549
Oh, but I'll switch him to flight mode,
will I? Just take him outside.

236
00:12:27,550 --> 00:12:29,169
Oh, maybe you should take him outside.

237
00:12:29,170 --> 00:12:30,220
Oh, Jesus.

238
00:12:35,210 --> 00:12:40,250
In you pop.

239
00:12:41,640 --> 00:12:47,159
Please one look. I'm not gonna hurt you
fingers crossed I'm just gonna bring you

240
00:12:47,160 --> 00:12:50,099
to this wedding and you're gonna tell
everyone how you rode the braids athlete

241
00:12:50,100 --> 00:12:56,640
All right, just my my ass one in at the
moneymaker You're not claustrophobic.

242
00:12:56,700 --> 00:13:03,639
Yeah, no, no you might be after this Do
you know that they all

243
00:13:03,640 --> 00:13:08,100
have the same touch Directed three
musketeers

244
00:13:14,350 --> 00:13:15,550
Can we have a quick chat?

245
00:13:16,670 --> 00:13:18,690
A quick chat? About what?

246
00:13:21,230 --> 00:13:22,310
Somewhere in private.

247
00:13:35,430 --> 00:13:36,480
Listen.

248
00:13:39,030 --> 00:13:40,250
I want to say I'm sorry.

249
00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:45,130
For being such an asshole to you just
now.

250
00:13:45,560 --> 00:13:47,120
Is this some sort of joke, like?

251
00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:53,120
I was standing on the altar and it
dawned on me that I should be thanking

252
00:13:53,540 --> 00:13:54,590
For what?

253
00:13:55,780 --> 00:13:57,950
Because you'll be something I'll never
be.

254
00:13:59,420 --> 00:14:00,620
It's Linda's first love.

255
00:14:02,460 --> 00:14:07,359
And you know, she said to me she
wouldn't have fell in love with me if

256
00:14:07,360 --> 00:14:09,530
didn't teach her to love in the first
place.

257
00:14:09,700 --> 00:14:11,300
Linda? Linda said that?

258
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:14,660
Would you do me a favor?

259
00:14:17,180 --> 00:14:18,800
Would you do the readings for us?

260
00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:22,860
I know it would mean a lot to Linda.

261
00:14:27,540 --> 00:14:28,590
Garbage.

262
00:14:29,640 --> 00:14:30,690
The whole thing.

263
00:14:31,460 --> 00:14:36,999
For the second time that day, I realized
that humiliating Linda in front of her

264
00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:42,380
family and friends might not be the
right thing to do. Billy, I changed my

265
00:14:45,330 --> 00:14:47,190
Careful now, we don't want to hurt you.

266
00:14:47,510 --> 00:14:48,560
Whoa, here we go.

267
00:14:50,930 --> 00:14:54,000
I tell you something, you're going to
get your steps in today.

268
00:15:05,410 --> 00:15:06,690
That's a really long car.

269
00:15:14,180 --> 00:15:15,230
She's here.

270
00:15:17,660 --> 00:15:18,710
It's going to be okay.

271
00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:24,060
Oh, Jesus Christ.

272
00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:37,330
And remember, the least any of us
deserve is to be happy.

273
00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:39,290
Thanks, Mom.

274
00:15:43,980 --> 00:15:45,030
Come on.

275
00:15:48,940 --> 00:15:55,879
I think I'm going to do

276
00:15:55,880 --> 00:15:56,930
community netting.

277
00:15:57,600 --> 00:15:58,650
What?

278
00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:00,450
Wait.

279
00:16:01,340 --> 00:16:02,390
Hungry.

280
00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:52,660
I know you're not used to me giving you
advice.

281
00:16:54,860 --> 00:16:56,300
But you found Josh somewhere.

282
00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:00,220
I don't want you to mess it up like I
did.

283
00:17:04,170 --> 00:17:05,220
You should go get him.

284
00:17:07,609 --> 00:17:08,659
Not now.

285
00:17:09,230 --> 00:17:10,280
Go on.

286
00:17:12,390 --> 00:17:17,809
We're gathered here today to celebrate
the marriage of Gavin Madigan, Linda

287
00:17:17,810 --> 00:17:21,250
Walsh. Yeah, first reading.

288
00:17:21,530 --> 00:17:25,410
Who is for the first reading?

289
00:17:26,150 --> 00:17:27,690
First reading, thank you.

290
00:17:28,830 --> 00:17:30,690
Connor. Is it Connor?

291
00:17:30,910 --> 00:17:31,960
Are we Connor?

292
00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:34,640
Are you the first reading?

293
00:17:34,660 --> 00:17:35,840
Yeah, stand up.

294
00:17:36,140 --> 00:17:38,220
And then go on. Go on.

295
00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:40,840
Very good.

296
00:17:42,280 --> 00:17:43,330
Lovely.

297
00:17:48,460 --> 00:17:49,510
Hey.

298
00:17:51,300 --> 00:17:53,530
Sorry, I'm not going to read the whole
thing.

299
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:56,050
Okay.

300
00:17:57,520 --> 00:18:01,800
Hey, Linda said you have a mickey on you
like a packet of polos.

301
00:18:06,860 --> 00:18:10,500
And can you please get a move on? I'm
playing golf at three.

302
00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:14,800
Public speaking isn't my strong point,
but I was going to nail this. For Linda.

303
00:18:15,040 --> 00:18:16,090
The first reading.

304
00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:21,700
A reading from a book of, or sorry, the
book.

305
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:23,140
What's wrong with you?

306
00:18:23,360 --> 00:18:25,740
Come on, Guy. You can't read, is it? I
can read.

307
00:18:25,940 --> 00:18:26,990
It's sexy.

308
00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:29,100
Well, just make it up and say anything.

309
00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:38,220
Do I speak with the tongues of men and
of angels?

310
00:18:39,180 --> 00:18:40,820
Angels. Angels.

311
00:18:43,900 --> 00:18:49,559
But have not, love, I have become brass

312
00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:53,900
and a resounding gong.

313
00:18:54,700 --> 00:18:56,120
Resounding gong, all right.

314
00:19:05,911 --> 00:19:07,959
Linda, I'm sorry.

315
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:09,780
I wanted to be happy for Linda.

316
00:19:10,080 --> 00:19:13,979
But I can get a bit hormonal at
weddings. And I had the tendency to mess

317
00:19:13,980 --> 00:19:15,300
decision -making process.

318
00:19:15,301 --> 00:19:16,519
But fuck it.

319
00:19:16,520 --> 00:19:17,660
Back to the old plan.

320
00:19:24,180 --> 00:19:25,230
Connor!

321
00:19:25,780 --> 00:19:28,120
Billy. I changed my mind again.

322
00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:32,800
Okay. Operation Handsome Hand Grenade is
a go -go.

323
00:19:39,230 --> 00:19:40,280
Shit.

324
00:19:43,510 --> 00:19:44,560
Dang,

325
00:19:47,590 --> 00:19:48,640
dang, dang.

326
00:19:48,990 --> 00:19:50,050
Change your plan.

327
00:19:50,350 --> 00:19:51,400
Mind your head.

328
00:19:51,401 --> 00:19:56,989
And now before Gavin and Linda make
their solemn commitment to each other,

329
00:19:56,990 --> 00:20:01,250
they've written their own vows, which
they're now going to recite to each

330
00:20:02,710 --> 00:20:03,760
Combine on my phone.

331
00:20:03,850 --> 00:20:04,900
Brilliant.

332
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:08,050
Shit. What?

333
00:20:08,360 --> 00:20:10,040
It's asking for a software update.

334
00:20:10,380 --> 00:20:11,440
I'm after saying yes.

335
00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:14,570
Why didn't you just print them out? I
don't know.

336
00:20:14,860 --> 00:20:18,170
It's the only one always saying we're
living in a paperless world.

337
00:20:18,560 --> 00:20:20,910
Do you not, like, I don't know, remember
them?

338
00:20:22,580 --> 00:20:25,020
Three guesses as to who's singing this.

339
00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:26,290
I don't know.

340
00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:27,760
No. Your ma?

341
00:20:28,340 --> 00:20:29,390
No.

342
00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:30,920
Go on, have another guess.

343
00:20:30,921 --> 00:20:32,359
Is it Daniel, actually?

344
00:20:32,360 --> 00:20:33,540
Gilbert O'Sullivan.

345
00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:37,300
He's actually from Waterford. What could
it be?

346
00:20:38,360 --> 00:20:40,700
Woo! That's matrimony.

347
00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:44,220
It won't take long.

348
00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:46,860
Look, it's initialising.

349
00:20:50,700 --> 00:20:51,750
Where's Billy?

350
00:20:54,340 --> 00:20:56,320
Look at this prick with hairs.

351
00:20:57,020 --> 00:20:58,960
There's nobody on the road.

352
00:21:01,620 --> 00:21:02,840
Look, come here.

353
00:21:03,070 --> 00:21:04,690
I've got somewhere I've got to be.

354
00:21:04,691 --> 00:21:05,989
Chop, chop.

355
00:21:05,990 --> 00:21:08,280
All right, lad. I'm only messing with
you. Go on.

356
00:21:08,370 --> 00:21:09,970
Go ahead. In your own time.

357
00:21:14,870 --> 00:21:15,970
I'm sorry about this.

358
00:21:16,730 --> 00:21:18,230
It took me hours to write them.

359
00:21:19,230 --> 00:21:22,240
And there's a little bit of something in
there for everyone.

360
00:21:22,390 --> 00:21:23,440
Cries.

361
00:21:23,790 --> 00:21:25,840
Laughter. Is there a car chase, is
there?

362
00:21:26,470 --> 00:21:28,850
Well, we're all on tenterhooks, I'm
sure.

363
00:21:29,330 --> 00:21:30,380
It's 80%.

364
00:21:30,879 --> 00:21:33,960
You'll be cutting the cake when we get
there. Shut up, you!

365
00:21:35,740 --> 00:21:36,820
Steve McQueen.

366
00:21:38,580 --> 00:21:40,180
I said hello!

367
00:21:42,420 --> 00:21:44,100
What's happening, Shakespeare?

368
00:21:44,260 --> 00:21:45,400
It's the wheel of death.

369
00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:46,740
I think it's frozen.

370
00:21:47,120 --> 00:21:48,560
We're going to leave the vows.

371
00:21:49,230 --> 00:21:53,190
Well, that's ruined everyone's day, I'm
sure. Right, let's zip through this.

372
00:21:53,310 --> 00:21:58,529
Right, Gavin, Jimmy, Barry, Madigan, do
you take Linda, Anastasia, Walsh, be

373
00:21:58,530 --> 00:22:01,769
your lawfully wedded wife, sickness and
health, up and down, death to your part?

374
00:22:01,770 --> 00:22:05,449
I do. Great. Linda, do you take Gavin,
lawfully wedded husband, sickness and

375
00:22:05,450 --> 00:22:06,770
health, rest of your days?

376
00:22:06,870 --> 00:22:13,869
I... I...

377
00:22:13,870 --> 00:22:15,210
Say yes.

378
00:22:21,740 --> 00:22:25,899
When I saw Linda's face, I realised the
desperate lengths that love had driven

379
00:22:25,900 --> 00:22:26,679
me to.

380
00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:29,280
Oh, mother of God, who's this now?

381
00:22:29,900 --> 00:22:32,000
It's Dan Fogarty.

382
00:22:32,240 --> 00:22:36,799
He's a good -looking fella, isn't he?
Yeah. Yeah, and he's got something to

383
00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:39,300
you. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

384
00:22:41,940 --> 00:22:47,319
Dan, you can go home. But I brought him
for you, God. Are you the fella from the

385
00:22:47,320 --> 00:22:49,280
poster? What is he doing here?

386
00:22:49,900 --> 00:22:52,220
He had sex with the bride last night.

387
00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:53,650
He what?

388
00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:54,770
Fuck.

389
00:22:56,140 --> 00:22:57,280
No, he didn't.

390
00:22:57,480 --> 00:22:58,530
So how could he?

391
00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:00,820
He was with me all night.

392
00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:04,520
Playing cards, like, there.

393
00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:06,880
You don't have to lie for me, Con.

394
00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:10,140
I'm so sorry, Kevin.

395
00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:11,650
Was it the full ride?

396
00:23:11,651 --> 00:23:14,699
Because I'm over the bra action, I can
forgive.

397
00:23:14,700 --> 00:23:16,480
I don't want your forgiveness.

398
00:23:17,940 --> 00:23:19,960
I... I don't want to marry you.

399
00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:27,050
I thought I did, but then I realised I
wasn't being true to myself.

400
00:23:27,980 --> 00:23:32,979
And what I want more than anything in
this whole world is to be with my first

401
00:23:32,980 --> 00:23:34,030
true love.

402
00:23:36,520 --> 00:23:39,470
You're not talking about that fucking
lang ball, are you?

403
00:23:40,880 --> 00:23:41,930
Dolphins.

404
00:23:43,500 --> 00:23:44,820
Dolphins? Yeah.

405
00:23:45,700 --> 00:23:48,100
I want to go to UCC and study marine
science.

406
00:23:48,101 --> 00:23:50,349
I thought you were going to say me
there, Linda.

407
00:23:50,350 --> 00:23:53,829
Then I'm going to work with an NGO and
clear all the plastic from the Pacific

408
00:23:53,830 --> 00:23:56,770
Ocean. I really thought you were going
to say me. I'm sorry.

409
00:23:57,490 --> 00:23:58,540
To both of you.

410
00:23:59,790 --> 00:24:01,170
But you were holding me back.

411
00:24:02,530 --> 00:24:04,820
Did anyone else think she was going to
say me?

412
00:24:04,950 --> 00:24:08,450
Ah, right. Well, I'm teeing off at 3
.30. Good luck.

413
00:24:10,030 --> 00:24:11,080
Sorry.

414
00:24:15,050 --> 00:24:16,100
What?

415
00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:19,000
It's a software update, isn't it?

416
00:24:20,120 --> 00:24:24,559
You shouldn't even worry about the nice
things they had to say, because you'd be

417
00:24:24,560 --> 00:24:25,880
wasted on someone like you.

418
00:24:28,340 --> 00:24:30,200
They were all wrote by ChatGPT anyway.

419
00:24:43,191 --> 00:24:49,959
Look, I know you've been working really
hard and... Yeah, to provide for our

420
00:24:49,960 --> 00:24:50,819
child's future.

421
00:24:50,820 --> 00:24:52,200
I'm saying you don't have to.

422
00:24:53,420 --> 00:24:56,850
I've already raised a son. I did it by
myself without a penny to my name.

423
00:24:56,851 --> 00:24:58,479
He turned out all right, didn't he?

424
00:24:58,480 --> 00:25:01,159
Yeah, is that the one who's just done
three years in prison?

425
00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:02,420
Yeah, that's a fair point.

426
00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:08,679
Look, all I'm saying is, what kind of
future is our little boy going to have

427
00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:11,270
his mother and father are strangers to
each other?

428
00:25:11,271 --> 00:25:15,019
Yeah, I suppose it is a bit early to
start thinking about which college to

429
00:25:15,020 --> 00:25:16,070
him to.

430
00:25:18,990 --> 00:25:21,280
Keep him alive, show him love, that's
the job.

431
00:25:21,490 --> 00:25:23,900
Everything else you just make up as you
go along.

432
00:25:32,130 --> 00:25:33,810
Are we going to this wedding then?

433
00:25:34,410 --> 00:25:35,490
Oh, the wedding's off.

434
00:25:36,370 --> 00:25:37,420
It's off?

435
00:25:37,830 --> 00:25:38,880
It's a long story.

436
00:25:41,070 --> 00:25:43,480
Maybe you and me could go home while
he's asleep.

437
00:25:44,990 --> 00:25:47,340
I guess it's true what they say about
weddings.

438
00:26:14,340 --> 00:26:19,280
Out of his league, is it?

439
00:26:19,540 --> 00:26:20,590
Well, it's true.

440
00:26:20,591 --> 00:26:23,879
Haven't we got a good job and isn't it
permanent and pensionable? We pay for

441
00:26:23,880 --> 00:26:27,499
half of this wedding, all right? And you
can sing for us? Oh, yeah. Come on,

442
00:26:27,500 --> 00:26:28,550
Rumba.

443
00:26:29,500 --> 00:26:33,799
Oh, being married to a schoolteacher
isn't the end of everyone's reign, boy,

444
00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:36,460
know. Well, neither have been married to
a slapper.

445
00:26:36,461 --> 00:26:40,819
You're never going to get married again,
boy. What, you're married to my son?

446
00:26:40,820 --> 00:26:44,310
Yeah, is that right? Yeah. What? Would
you love that, would you? What?

447
00:27:25,639 --> 00:27:30,040
Okay. We're not down!

448
00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:48,519
In the end, no one got what they wanted
except for Linda and Siobhan The

449
00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:53,499
day didn't turn out the way any of us
imagined it would Except Jock was right

450
00:27:53,500 --> 00:27:56,800
what he said Weddings really do make
women horny

451
00:28:02,671 --> 00:28:04,769
Good job!

452
00:28:04,770 --> 00:28:09,320
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